Journey to the - Scotland & Europe

have you ever watched a movie named "Europe Trip"?
the hero and his friends in the movie walking around the europe country, searching for his mail-girl friend
and wait, mail-girl friend? kind of pen pal, but in different communication ways in the high-tech century
well, i hardly remember the last destination is in Vatican City, of course also one of my favourite site after Roma and Temple of Debod, Madrid
Well, dream come true? it's now my europe trip on show
 it's different, trust me, from what you watch in the tv, it's so real to me
and before that, i have been to Scotland, Northern of UK, for 6 days and 5 nights
it's adverse condition in UK and Europe, of course it is
for the people around (the English, of course more behave attitude, polite, the European, passionate and enthusiastic, rude & impolite - not good speaking english, especially in France, i believe they know, but they don't speak), the buildings (especially the Cathedral), the traditional foods, safeness of the country (of course, it's a major issue to travel the country), and etc

Okay, so let's start about the story in Scotland
before the trip, we had heard the Scottish are not good behave to chinese people, their friends being scolded for few days in the trip
but well, we are ready for this, just act we didn't heard of anything, fortunately we never meet this problem during the journey, i just can say we are luck enough
the first day, in Edinburgh, the capital of Scotland
we checked in ourself in the dorm at 4 o'clock,  and at the same time, we met our course-mate which stay at the same dorm with us, i only know few of them
the first station - having the dinner in China town
and then we went to the Edinburgh Castle, on the way, we saw one of the famous momentum
the first day, nothing special to describe though
the following day, we leave Edinburgh and continue to Lochness, a place famous with the sea monster
on the way to Lochness, i dare not to sleep in the car as i don't wish to miss any nice scene on the journey
taking pictures and chit chat in the car, it's a long journey to the next stop, around 5 to 6 hours driving distance
we stopped for several times, taking pictures while we found some nice scene, it's advisable by the seniors
and finally we reached Lochness, Urquhart Castle, where the place i broke my camera
we pay the entry to the castle, taking pictures, we spend around 1 or 2 hours there
i barely remember it was a rainy day, i split and broke my camera, ruin my mood of the day

不知不觉

我才发现，

已经是第44个主题了，

还写了不少啊~

由于才刚回马不久，

现在还是有点Jet lag

睡不着觉，就写部落，习惯性吗？

不经意的就打开了部落

或许，写部落是唯一的消闲吧 （可能吧）

也许，是时候找一个伴了（哈哈）

最近，和以前中学的一些死党喝茶，吹水

谈起以往的一切，还真的好笑

也感叹，自己已经不年轻啦~

还记得，少年时的乱

心中有一团火

做什么事都很 “冲”

其他的巡查员都乖乖的

我呢？做到差点和 “烂仔” 打架

还在Meeting时被学长警告

不是自夸，觉得当时的自己很有性格

在我管理的范围，都不会有什么麻烦

回味往事，起码，有点让自己有点骄傲

少年时，有段时间走失了

幸好，哥哥拉了我一把

把我劈头大骂，眼泪就掉下来了

第一次，真的第一次忍不住眼泪

整整有30-40分钟吧，

我没说一句话，我开不了口

说了一句 “给我机会，我会改的”

如果不是他，我不知道现在的我是怎样

心中，有一句话，很想告诉他

我有今天，真的因该谢谢你，哥哥

不是你，我绝对不是现在的 “Ruan”

UK的 ...

四个月 - 3/6 到 4/10
整整的四个月，
外国的月亮比较圆?
我真的不敢说是如此
不过，可以肯定的是
他们真的他妈的有礼貌
就算是不认识，也会对你微笑，点头
也学会了一个字，他们还蛮常说的
CHEERS

就好像代替了 “Thankyou" 这个字
无论在什么场合都用得着

可是谈及到美食,
那当然是大马的最好

几个月的时间,
感觉自己也变了很多
不知道是好事,还是坏事
人, 到一段时间
都会在改变,
思想, 态度, 脾气, 想法,等等的
当然, 我们都在成长, 对吧

有时, 有种感觉, 可能大多数 Summer Programme 的朋友都会觉得
时间太快, 很不够用
有些就觉得,太久太久了,想家了, 觉得还是大马比较好
我呢? 当然, 如果可以继续呆在国外, 我当然求之不得啦
是有原因的,
一个月的背包旅行, 真的让我大开眼界
Scotland - London - Paris - Brussels - Prague - Venice - Rome- Vatican City - Madrid - Palma Mallorca - Amsterdam - Sheffield
其实, 在还没踏入UK时,
就已经决定了要背包旅行
真的很难得的一次机会
在背包前, 就已经 expect 会非常的累人 (那是肯定的)
可是，真的很难得的机会可以在伦敦和巴黎一个人 “趴趴”走
本来和Wayne一起游伦敦和巴黎
可是，有机会我就和他分开走
很喜欢一个人到处走的感觉
自由自在，想在一个地方呆多久，都可以
那种感觉，很难形容
在 Brussels 更好玩了，
简直是一个人 “趴趴”走
拿着地图，虽然不是很会看地图
接下来，就跟着SengHoe一起走，
不一样的感觉，完全不同
开始学会了等待
等女生们化妆，少少也要一个多小时
等他们拍好照片，
看起来肥的，不行
不好看的，不行
背景有人的，不行
曝光的，也不行
真的花了不少时间
也开始意识到，背包不容易
self discipline and self awareness 很重要
也一度的 delay 了我们的行程
说真的，开始的时候
我还真的有些脾气，
不过，我都不会说出来

there are few places like Rome, Temple of Debod (Madrid) and Vatican City are quite impress myself, indeed
总觉得在 “罗马” 的时间很不够
还有些很值得去的地方，没有好好的去享受
好像在COLOSSEUM，花了大半天的时间
觉得真的值得了，再加上，当天是 “World Heritage Day”，入门时免费的
而在Vatican让我见识到最壮观的 Cathedral
可惜，时间不足
不然，我还希望多呆在Vatican City
还有Temple of Debod, 是我看过最美的日落
这是个Egypt  为了报答Madrid而建的一个庙之类的
这个地方，最值得看当然是它的日落，还有，在水面中，可以看到Building它本身的倒影
是一个一定要去的地标
当然，如果有时间，我会一一的把我Entire Europe Trip 的经验写下
当然，越早越好，记忆犹新嘛

Deadmau5, David Guetta, DJ Earworm

Deadmau5, one of the famous Dj, and he is the one i love most
one of my famous electro music is Ghost & Stuff
another one is Some Chord

this is the best way to release my pressure and i can feel amazing relax - Listen Deadmau5's electro music
i believe, most of the people dislike this kind of noisy music
i couldn't believe i will fall in love to Electro clubbing music
after i listen Ghost & Stuff and Some Chord, i starting to search other deadmau's home produced electro music from youtube
it's really amazing which can compare with David Guetta, he is also one of the famous DJ that feat with some of the top singers, the different of these two greatest DJ, i think Deadmau only produce the Electro music and David Guetta normally feat with the singers, which we normally can listen the songs at the FM & normally could found it in American Billboard
besides that, DJ Earworm also the top DJ ever in the world
he normally remix the top songs in the year
i believe most of the poeple listened that before
it's of course excellent to compose all the top music into one
DJ Earworm, David Guetta, and Deadmau, are definitely the top DJ in the world

不要问，好吗？

有些东西，不要问我好吗？
我永远不会回答，也不想听到
你觉得很好笑吗？我觉得很伤心
是什么原因都好，都不管你的事
大方 = 不介意？
我对什么事都可以不介意
就这件事
不要白目到以为很好笑
我可以告诉你，真的不好笑
我不懂，就很伤心
再也笑不出了

sad eh

just same as my status posted in my facebook "sad eh"
what i can do now is keep remember this emo feeling so that i wont forget this great lesson
don't simply mess around, just like my name "ruan"
deeply sorry does not help a thing
apologize is not the most appropriate solution
then what should i do
perhaps, do nothing at all
thing passed and alright, hopefully
what the fuck i had done
regret till the most but what to do for remedies
i hope i know how to make the things right
but i know i can't
just wait the things ends

"sad eh" must remember this great lesson
cause it's really sad to me

farewell for ruan

第二次的 farewell,

thank to all,
i'll be just fine in England for 4 months
i'll be right back
wait for me in the next gathering again
thank for all concern, all cares from you guys
unforgettable night
especially when you guys singing these song special for me
it's touching me so much
all of you, sing together
i never expect this, although i know it's my farewell party
after this section, we went to chow kit for ba kut teh
cos i am not able to eat for this few months
it make me really miss Malaysia foods so much
in the following months, i might need to cook myself
oh gosh, cannot imagine the taste of food which made by myself

sorry khang, not able to show up to my farewell
gotta some important matter on
so, hope got time to see you before departure

time blinks, time count down for few days
these few days, seng hoe did not show up
no doubtful, he sure enjoy his trip somewhere in UK or Europe after his final exam
i am expecting him while arrival to UK
i wish to buy some daily use or even foods at that particular day
or even, if got time, i wish to shopping
my most wanted Adidas Trefoil t-shirt
simple but i like it so much
as i planning to bring a few of custom which enough for few days
so that, it will not occupy my luggage space
since, i could buy lot of shirt in UK, why i bring so much for?
and of course, the price is cheaper than i buy in Malaysia, no doubt of that

thing goes fine
everything is just goes like planning
everyone said, enjoy your UK trip
and i would say "YES"
4 months
short enough? longer than i expect?
will be update my dot dot dot in my blog soon

Over Time

may be, just an excuse for us into another gathering of Drex, which is Farewell party for ruan, special thank to hong weng to organize this party on Saturday night.
i'd be grateful for all the attendee, mingshi, kenny, hongweng, pohyan, yen, pohkeong, siewteng, siewmun, alei, amanda, and meiyin

and then, Dialog's farewell party will be held on next tuesday, which suggested by miss chin, we will go for drinks again nearby the office area. feel warms working in Dialog, despite i am working only 2 month in there, they insist to make a farewell party for me before i am leaving.

yes, i will be stop my part time work on next tuesday, that's mean is the time for well preparing and planning for my traveling to England, i actually prepare nothing yet today. Especially the backpacking plan, i have no idea to any country to travel now, the Europe country. But, i believe that is not a huge obstacle for me and Seng Hoe

talking about seng hoe, alei joking with me, she can imagine the first meet of me and SengHoe in England soon, we surely will hug each other after the dismiss of almost half year. It would probably appear this scene when i got there, as when he is coming back from England last time, for preparing the Student Visa, we'd already did it in KLCC. he said "let's hug" and infront of lot of people, it's like OMG for me, but still, i did it. what to do, we are best Dude ever, LoL

anyway, still looking forward to our next gathering, CheongK section on next Saturday night, thank guys~

UK Summer Programme

本来， 差不多完成了，
不小心 refresh page，
花了整个小时，什么都没有了，
开心到啊，哭笑不得 =）

就还有差不多一个月的时间
时间，太快了，
我们都不曾拥有过时间，
我们，只不过是时间的过客 （passerby)
真的， 我很兴奋
已经开始计划着我的 backpack 旅行
和他，我的Buddy
虽然，我们也没有什么相同的理念
我的意思是，可能我们在讨论的过程也达不到一个共识
他有他的固执，我有我的坚持
不过，也许这才是Buddy吧
至少， 我相信没有两个perfect的人，
imperfect, make perfect
两个人， 会孤单吗？ 也许， 可是， 我还蛮喜欢这感觉

另外， 当然少了不了， Drex 和其他朋友的礼物
还没有到UK， 就有差不多30 分礼物要买了
感觉上，我不像是去 读完我的degree，
更像是， 去旅行， 去shopping的圣诞老人
虽然已经计划好了， 把所有的都shipping回来，省了麻烦
也要考虑到计划中的变化 - 计划永远追赶不少变化 -
计划都不是乖乖的呆在圈圈里面

还有几天，
我期待已久的Sabah Trip， 4 天三夜、
又要请假了， 有点不好意思
才做不到2个月的PartTime， 就整整请了2次的假期
这一次，还要请了4天的假期
虽然说，Company也不是很需要我
可是，对于工作的责任感， 显然， 我没有很在乎
就当，让我自己放纵，放肆， 还有点任性吧
也许， 也没有什么机会了

准备？
对于我， 准备 绝对不是一件 “烦恼”
曾告诉自己， 有很多事情， 不是我们说喜欢 就去做，
同等的， 不是我们说不喜欢， 就可以逃避等等。。
大道理， 我留着改天再慢慢聊，
那么， 也只好 好好享受准备的过程， 也许， 不是说很享受的说法

也没有忘记要谢谢的人，
Yen and hong weng,the luggage that i borrowed from you, i promised i will keep it nicely, and i will return it with a present
Bernard, hardly forget what have you done for me, being your housemate, around 7 to 8 years, when i first stepped into Menara Alpha, we're being tied in the same house for years, how grateful when you helping me and my friend to change the bank draft with lower staff rate, which save a lot of my money, of cause,million of Thank You in my heart, but i have to leave this house very soon, i promise i will miss you =)
other Drexs, special thank to all of you, giving me the information, guidance, a lot of useful website, i had promise i will bring you what you wanted to buy in UK, and i'll take my promise, for sure
to whom really cares about me, i will not forget
to whom really helps me, i will not forget
to whom really love me, i will not forget
to whom i really love, you must remember =)

2012

2012 似乎和 "世界末日" 这四个字画上了等号..

现在, 是早上6点了.. 乱 还没有睡觉, 不是失眠, 其实已经很累了, 很困了

不过, 很想完成今天要写的主题

昨天, 日本8.9级的地震,  死亡人数,  失踪人口,  汽车被河流冲走, 道路崩裂
在面书上, 有着不同的图片, 视频 还有类似的报道, 一直在update着
我们, 除了给予关心和心理默默的支持以外, 也希望, 悲剧会到此为止
日本的地震, 让人们都觉得2012真的就快要到来了
也让我们再次的觉得, 人的力量, 是很眇小的
(其实, 我并不这么认为, 我希望可以写出自己对2012的看法)

有一篇报道, 美国国务院已经证实2012年世界末日的来临
实实在在的写出从2010大大小小的天灾, 甚佳还描述着有些国家在建造诺亚方舟, 金融危机, 外星人, 等等的新闻, 最荒谬 也是最好笑的是 外星人会在2012后帮人类收拾残局
我, 没有share这篇报道, 也没必要
我只是回复了 "NONSENSE" 这一句..
如果说, 人类的灭亡, 是什么天灾, 不如说, human leading himself to the end of the world, 是人类导致的 2012 (世界末日)
今天, 去打包, 有位aunty大声的讲, 世界末日咯, 有的吃,就吃..
还有, 朋友跟我说, 世界末日 咯.. 我决定, 把剩下的时间都拿来玩DOTA

甚至, 还有人自杀 的新闻报道
什么MAYA calender, Bible 还是 出名的ONLINE Forecasting 的网站 （曾经看过一个与2012相关的视频）都指出2012, 12月，21日,　就是世界末日

其实,　我更想表达的是,　不要在还没有到２０１２前就自我毁灭了
他们的想法,　就好比２０１２还没到来，他们已经死了.．
我的意思是,　那种自我颓废而无能为力的想法,　扼杀了他们对人生继续生存的意志
也开始,　没有那股追求欲望的动力了.．
因为,　就仅仅的觉得，　即使再怎么努力的追求，
任凭，我们那眇小的力量,　也改变不了２０１２的事实

日本，正处于Tsunami and earthquake 的灾难的同时，
然而，却有些人说要庆祝什么的..
看似 是中国人吧， 有不少人的回复
你不给予一些些的同情心，也请你不要落井下石， 可以吗？
人都死了，都说无益
Japanese never begging for your helps if you are not willing to contribute your sympathy to the victims
however, please don't fucking throw the stone when they are now facing the natural disaster
actually, as a malaysian, we should be glad that our country is free from the natural disaster like earthquake
somehow, we never appreaciate it and blame it on our own country about the politics issue
we shall thankful that at this moment, we still alive while we watching those victims are now suffering for their loss
may be, now i can't help a thing, but i believe, in the future, when i have the ability, while i still alive
i willing to do the best to help the victims, in term of monies or anything that might helps

and a research says, the end of the world not longer in 2012, but in 2011 May
that's mean before i goes to UK for my top up degree
is that possible? i hope it's not

2012 对乱而言

Live Concert - Jay Chou vs Justin Lo (侧田) and Linkin Park

最近，在面书 都可以看到周杰伦演唱会的片段
超High的 ~ 超爽的 ~ 我差点喊到暴喉
虽然,其他的朋友 静静的坐着 静静的欣赏
我就不管了 尽情的high一番
没有荧光棒 , 没有关系 , 我还有我双手.. put your hands up and never put it down
有些画面, 还历历在目, 尤其是3D的效果
至于嘉宾, 有 LARA, Yuan Yong Lin, Gary (from taiwan), 浪花兄弟
最喜欢哪一 part?
emm.. 应该是.. 酷酷的 杰伦, 在最后一首歌 "开不了口" (before Encore part)
他突然, "我的演唱会, 这个舞台前面应该是站满观众的!"
坐在前面的观众, 都冲上前去, 当时, Body Guard 还去 block 这那些疯狂的歌迷
Jay "不要挡着我的歌迷!"
型爆的 Jay Chou!
就可以看到, 台下挤满了他的歌迷
可惜, 我的位子太远了, 不然我也冲上前去

如果, 问我,
Jay Chou 和 侧田的演唱会, 那个比较好?
也只能说, 不同的感觉
依然 还记得, 3年前..侧田的演唱会,
唱现场的侧田, 我敢讲 没有哪个歌手可以比得上侧田
虽然,  JayChou 在Live 有走音, 等等..
但, 确实high 爆了现场, 还有人去理什么走音吗?
侧田唱Live 就好像你听CD 一样好听

如果说, 除了他们两个

有让我毫无疑虑的, 一定是 Linkin Park 的 Live Show
一首NUMB就足于值回票价了
可惜, LP 根本就不回来马来西亚,
多谢我们的政府..
有机会, 一定要去 Linkin Park 的 live 演唱会

this is Numb from Linkin Park
this video was in his concert at Texas during year 2003
at that time, he still can scream loud like no one could do that,
somehow, after his throat surgery
his voice become weaker
you can check his older video on youtube, i think year 2003 or something
just to compared his voice between now and the older time
somehow.. Linkin Park is still the best band ever in this world
no one can defeat them, unless themself
I love Linkin Park Jay Chou and Justin Lo

Ruan 25

just simply thank to my buddies, take me to YUAN steamboat at 26 FEB and then sing k in sunway Redbox, these buddies always with me during my birthday, feel glad to be with you guys
secondly, the early celebration at 25 of FEB, a movie with 3 ladies, thank for accompany me that time in midvalley, even thought they need to take KTM come to midvalley, afterward they working hour, they rushed to KTM to meet me, i felt touch when i saw them running to me, we are actually late for our movie, i insist to wait them and we go to cinema together, later, we went to kepong for eating steamboat, and then, yen yen bring us to sing k in KBOX. thank for buy me the whole day's bills
then, this is the good day for me 27 of FEB, my actually Birthday date
so as usual, this day is waiting for DREX
originally, i was dating her, for a lunch
but she was rushing back to hometown for some important matter
at the early morning, i mean afternoon
me, kenny and ming shi went to our dear friends' Convocation
however, we seem a bit late and most of them are leaving
siew teng and poh keong were waiting for us and go for a lunch
once we reached the OneWorld Hotel, we met hong weng yen and joodee
after stay around 1 hour at the Hotel, taking some pictures, chit chat and meet some friend there
we decided went for a lunch at 1Utama
and kenny was suggested to go Clubbing at night time

after discussed with all of them, most of them are ON tonight
is a really happy night to me, and i really feel tired these few days
thank for you guys spend the time with me
i'd really appreciated what you guys done for me
no pictures at this moment
may be,
the best memory of us were captured in our head, our mind
clean and clear on our head

hope we can capture the time
so we will not let the time pass easily
i mean, the happy, or sad time of us
i like our friendship, i like you guys to be my friends, i like everything you guys done for me, thank!

as i say as usual, i don't like the surprise, i like surprise my friend xD

乱写2

last week, my friends and i, 7 of us went to an interview
a contractor firm name Conlay
2 of us are interview as permenant staff and work as office QS
and the rest of us, intended to work for 2 months before going to UK
earn some pocket money and don't want to waste the time just hangging in the house
our expected salary were 2000, not so much actually
since, i have the site experience for 1 year (almost 1 year lah xD)
i believe, 2000 is worthwhile for me, and i believe i could make contribution to the company
during the interview, quite relax as the Senior GM is nice to talk to
middle of interview, a GM came into and interrupt our interivew, his name LEONG
and then the BIG BOSS also come in and brief us the "History" of their company
actually, we are interesting to work with them, because they do not mind we just work for 2 month
this actually is my friend introduce to me, saying them need a lot of Fresh graduate work for them,
do not mind we just work for 2 months
after that, 3 of them (GM Leong, Senior GM, and BIG BOSS) need to discuss the detail of our work location and etc, so we had to leave the meeting room and waiting their discussion
while waiting, 3 of us decided to work in Johor site, as before, they agreed if we work outstation, will giving us some more allowance to us
since we need earn more money, we agreed to work in Johor site
later on, GM Leong ask us to come in to the meeting room again,
Leong discuss the site location to us and brief us some information about their site
at the last, the most and crucial part is, the salary or their so called "allowance" to us
i'm so surprised that, how could a Contractor company will offered low price to us
it's only 800, frankly to say it, it is really not enough to cover our living cost
additionally, even work as a trainee during diploma, which my friend work in construction site for main contractor, they also gained 1000
aren't we worse than the trainee?
Leong say, it's very fair to both party, since we are not the permanent staff neither the trainee, so they offered us 800 as allowance, seem they offered  the trainee less than 800 (sound reasonable)


i actually told to them, i have about 1 year site working experience, if compared with others
that time, i gain at least 1.6k, plus LRT transportation, phone allowance
i not really happy with their offer, just thinking that, they need some low cost labour to work with them, just like us
of cause, first we say our opinion that, 800 is not enough for us, and we intended to counter offer as 1500
for me, 1500 really is nothing to me, my bottom line is 2000..so at that time, i already rejected this offer
Leong said, will let us know on monday about the allowance and the working location
no doubt, on monday, the reception dial to me and wake me up from bed
i double confirm to her, the allowance that they given were 1500
and i reply her that i need time to reconsider, and would give her a call at 2pm
around 12, Leong gives me a call, speaking chinese this time
he required me to give him an answer immediately
i felt that i have been forced to work with him
and the allowance that they offered to me, is not actually what i want
therefore, i rejected
same to my friends, Conlay calls one by one, and surprisingly all of them rejected
may be, they are affected by me

let's see,
earning the money really not a easy job as we think
we're actually required to work like a DOG even we are paid 800 as allowance
we need to live in a luxurious life, we have to pay our effort to achieve it
we have to scarify our time to fulfll it
nowadays, most of the company will "tam" to the fresh graduate, DON'T mind the low salary, it's the time for you to learn as much as possible, if you work more, the knowledge of learning will be your assests
i never decline this sentence, somehow, at least when we are put the much effort for your company, we are hoping you treat us fairly, in term of salary and allowance that you give to us
i'm so sure that now the construction line need a lot of new blood like us
regardless the hot weather, work like a cow for them, and the salary is low to medium
that's the idea of a boss
no right or wrong, in the point of view, they can recruit some fresh blood like us who are willing to learn and work with them, they provide us an environment to learn and see how the construction line
and for us, we really can learn during we working in construction site
for me, salary is not the most important issue, the main issue is, what can i learn in your company, i don't have much time to waste in your company, indeed

i don't want to be a loser, no one likes to
now, it's the turning point to me, a milestone which i start to transform a student life to become an employee
i should do this at my ealry age, actually
recently reading a book, name "self made millionnaire" (not really remember the book name)
the author, start running his business at the age of 13
his father also a millionnaire, his mindset totally different with the normal and average people
for him, earn few million in a year is not a difficult thing
he stressed one important point, the hungry to success and passion to achieve your goal
this is what i really need now
i don't know how to become a success person, may be, i can read from the book like this
learn the attitude like a millionnaire, may be it is still not late to read
the author, read these book while he is young, mostly in primary school
okay, stop this topic, as it getting longer

luan 写 on my blog

Ruan's theory

when i click on my previous blogs
just found that all were writing about the sad sad thing
you will see that theory
when one's happy, he will not click into his blog, there is no reason to open it
however, when one's emotional or not that "happy", he will start think something to write
lols, it's not Ruan's theory actually
just a lot bloggers do so as mine

started used to be write my thing on here
is that all we call it as "习惯性"?
sometimes, i really wish to write all about what im'ma thinking in my brain on my blog
just found that, when you really want to write it down
it seem all gone,
the idea, the everything that i think of in my brain,
it just gone away
it's really a good word to describe me "think too much"
though i don't like this sentence
but i had to admit it

give us an advice is that
don't over obsession on uncertainty, chasing for certainty
recently see a video clip in you tube
some of the old folks
and the story start with..
one of the oldie received a phone call
guess the conversation about one of his old old friend was passed away
saying a word "ha!" and stunning after received the call
another scene is five oldies were gather in a restaurant
gloomy and speechless
all of sudden, one of the oldie was knocked the table
and shout "let's go for motorbike!"
five of them, prepare for few months
doing the gym thing like youngster
5 of them have the different serious sickness
heart attack, diabetes and etc
they just ride the motorbike around for thousand mile
and finally, they reached a beach
re-call back of their teenager's scene
6 of the young boy, and a lady, the girl friend of one of them, and now the wife which has passed away
what the video inspiring of all man kind
may be, everyone absorb different thing
actually, i kind of funny when see those older were doing the gym for build their body
and they were on the motorbike like the mat rempit
just like what we saw it in the roadway in our country
but i feel truly touch from the bottom of my heart
it's amazing, wordless to describe
everyone own their dreams
the time passed and the LIFE forces us to drop down our "idiot" dreams away
because we have to live our LIFE, not just stress on our dream anymore!
cold water splash on you, WAKE UP FROM DREAM!
we might think, one day, one day i will pick my DREAM again
when we got the chance, we will say, maybe later?
until the day we cover by coffin, we will regret that we never chase for our dream while we still can
how good if we are now doing what we are dreaming to do

i saw a video, and it say
要嘛赶紧死..要嘛精彩的活着


when we're in a big trouble,
when our mind is like the end of the world
when we face the stress of work, or studies
when we are broke in a relationship
or even when u desperate and lost the faith on yourself
hold yourself for one minute
just one minute
think nothing on your mind
and you actually not in that "bad" situation if compared with others

another thing that i had learned somewhere
when you felt extreme frustrated to someone
and gonna or prepare to fuck him up
take a breath, turn around for 1 minute
eventually, you felt just nothing to shout on your friend
worthless to blame on these kind of matter
it's a part of my life now
but sometimes, i still will do complain on my blog
as long as i'm still a human being

突然之间

1.49a.m.
跟以往一样，很迟才睡觉
本来已经准备着睡觉，却想写写BLOG

他，算是个不错的朋友，就那种从小玩到大的朋友
人，很不错下，起码朋友有事了，会出来帮帮
可惜，好像没人领情
就感觉到他被人欺负吧
好像习惯性的，吃饭，他们都不付钱
就由他来付钱
真的，不是便宜的，一餐起码100+ 以上
我是说，起码..
有时，几百+ 都是没有人会去share
可能，真的没有人会觉得有什么不妥

relationship is fragile
building it up with a true mean
it may spending you a lot of time
somehow you can ruin in any second
we always see from among our friend
when a girl/boy has a boy/girl friend
the real friendship will shown on the table
what i want to say is
do you even remember how your friend treats you while you're in single relationship
and what do you give your friend in return when you're in double relationship
"thank you, thank a lot yeah, wa.. thank for what you have done to me"
these all bullshits will come out from your mouth
don't even fucking thank to your friend if it comes out with no true meaning
just save it and cut the fucking crap
people said, pisces  will think too much, sensitive emotional
yeah, i agreed, because what does it related my friend did not pay for the dinner money with the these
it does not related at all, it'd really gone so far away

com'on this is life, there is nothing fair in this issue
at least i believe there is nothing fair in the world, not here
when one day, a friend of you, starting have no topic to chat with you
or you found the relationship goes fade
don't even think you can do anything to color it
you can just recall back, what the best memories of yours
don't ask why, there is no reason

很多人告诉我，双鱼想的太多了 “你想太多啦”
其实，我不是很喜欢这样的说法
可能，我也对星座没有什么研究
可是，与其说我们想的太多
不如，说我们是用“心”去看

最近才觉得，乱 好像不会讲话了
常常问我的朋友，我到底是不是有什么 “语言障碍”的
乱讲的话，就只有自己明白
很常觉得，我表达不到我想要呈现的意思出来
所以只好静静的，静静的呆在那里
也希望，今年可以找到一个，
不用我多说，又可以理解我在表达我的意思的人吧
很难吧  xD

Drex - 才发现 -

才发现，和DREX 的日子，
已经有5 年了...

今天，就好象 DREX 的团圆日子 (DREX Reunion day)
尽量配合大家的时间
去看了一部不错的电影 - Great Day - 天天好天 -
先说这部电影，好笑的部分 当然不用讲
真的真的非常开心
然而，看了这部电影，有联想到自己和家人的关系
好像很久都没有回家了？
上次，应该是3-4个月前吧～
也想到爸妈已经老了
要多回家陪她们
其实，时间可以adjust的
无论多忙，也应该抽出时间来陪她们吧
很有意思的电影

Drex - 我最好的朋友，最好的家人
和他们在一起，真的很多欢乐，开心！
不管你们在多远，我们还是DREX!
友谊，不会因为距离而生疏 （起码我觉得）
累了，下次才 update =)

擱淺

最近 爱上这首歌
一天听十几次以上
就觉得很感人～
搁浅 - 意思就好象是 事情遭到阻碍而中途停顿


today, my college life is in the going to end
after the exam, the lecturer announce the eligible candidates in the sport complex
to those who get A or C- in their project dissertation,
they have to attend VIVA which the failed student shall required to revise and resubmit the project dissertation according to the comment by supervisor
i'd hope so much i am not one of them
as the god's blessing, and supports from many of my friends, either text me to wish me luck, or posted in my facebook's wall to encourage me
it's really mean a lot to me
and hope my friend who are going to resit the paper on this friday, will be able to pass too
so that, she able to go LJMU in Jun


the actual plan was going to klang, having the nice seafood
however, the planner, JESS was unable to make it because he'd required to attend VIVA in the next day
gonna prepare for it, blessed him
the plan changed to Kepong buffer which highly recommended by KC
well, i am kind of scared the buffer thing now =(
after being called for few times to have steamboat with my friends
guess i was "allergy" to buffer
but, since they are no other plan, i just ON as usual


the same thing which usually occurs between us - ZERO communication!
skipped this part as i was total emotional when talking to this issue
yet, it really make me down while she totally ignore me
treat me like invisible man as even she face to face me
when i was fore, she will at the back or otherwise
saying that, and almost all people agree that pieces are "think too much"
i agreed this statement, but when saying in other way, i could say our observation and senses of this matter will be more than the average people
i just sit at outside, playing my htc, text my friends and call them up
both physically and mentally tiring me for recent day
i remain silent when we going to second round
in anytime friend asking me, i will reply them, i really feel tired this few days
but i sure that most of them feel i was down
i'm totally disappointed
when this thing will stop?
stop torturing me, get a LIFE !!!!

礼物

今天，真的很高兴！
就上去他家抄PM的TIPS
开始的时候，感觉还不错
可能就我们两个人
有讲，有笑
他就在看戏，我在傍边读书
感觉很好！
然后就一起吃晚餐，也叫了JIAYEE一起～
出去前，他把礼物交给我，
本来打算Chirstmas的时候交换的
不过，现在收到也不迟
有冲动想立刻打开来看
他要我回家才打开

然后就去meet朋友吃饭
就好象有第三者在场
我们就好象有默契的，
保持距离，
我则保持沉默
这种感觉很奇怪
起初，也很不习惯
感觉好像完全被隔离似的

回到家，就马上打开礼物
开心到～
没想到他会选这个给我
就SEND SMS 给他
真的很喜欢！
谢谢，迟来的Christmast礼物